The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

This book shares wisdom from an ancient mesoamerican civilization, The Toltec. It explains concepts like The Judge, The Parasite, The Warrior and The Dream World. By following four simple agreements, you’ll rid yourself of The Parasite, forgive yourself as The Judge, and become the Warrior of your own Dream World. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, although at times it could become a bit too spiritual (even for me). Continuous practical application of these straightforward agreements, as outlined in the book, will change your mindset, opportunity and lifestyle for the better. It promises a great spiritual awakening, where you’ll fill your heart (and others) with love and forgiveness.

The four agreements are

• Be impeccable with your word

• Don't take anything personally

• Don't make assumptions

• Always do your best

Your life as you know it

The book is based on the premise that we are subject to agreements and rules that have been agreed to generationally across hundreds of years. You are born into a country with a predetermined government, countless rules and regulations that you’ve had no part in choosing. Your family values and upbringing are all out of your control. It takes immense energy to overcome these rules. It takes active and consistent effort to create new agreements and change old ones.

Section 51(1)
Competition and Consumer Act. 25,000 BC

Words can speak as loud as actions

When you are impeccable with your word, it is easy to connect with others. Intentions are laid on the table. Clear, honest communication. It is easy for everyone to see who you really are, and what you want. When you are impeccable with your word, you can be relied upon. Advice can be given with no ulterior motive, no ill-intent. Complete trust. Although being impeccable with your word is the hardest to follow, to me, this agreement brings the most positive change of all.

You do not judge others as you judge yourself

When you make a serious mistake, you hurt others and yourself. Oftentimes, we vastly overestimate how much we’ve hurt others, and underestimate how it’s affected us. We become The Judge, Jury and Executioner of ourselves. We punish ourselves, over and over and over again. We catastrophize. We lose confidence in ourselves and others. If we are not to be trusted, then who can we trust? By forgiving ourselves first and foremost, it becomes easier to forgive others. Spend less negative energy punishing ourselves, and more on influencing our own agreements for the future. Forgive others, but most importantly forgive yourself.

This guy seems pretty happy behind bars

Guilty until proven innocent

If you're having a bad day, it’s easy to think that the world is out to get you. The person who cut you off in line did so because they think you’re small and weak. The dog poo left on your front lawn was a message from a neighbour up the street. The rude waitress who spoke down to you. When faced with these minor inconveniences, how do you react? How do you spend your spiritual and emotional energy? Although our legal system is based on innocent until proven guilty, our social rules are the opposite. Why are we so quick to assume the worst in people? Perhaps the waitress lost a family member recently and is having trouble being present. She’s on auto-pilot. A single mum has fallen ill and her young son took her dog for a walk. The small child doesn’t yet know they should pick up it’s poo. Whatever story you want to make up, make it up. You can believe what you want to believe. You can believe the world is out to get you, or you can stop taking everything personally. Treat everyone as if they’re family going through a rough day. They don’t mean it, and it’s not because of you.

Don't judge, unless it's obvious a person is a witch

Your best is enough

Even if you’re terrible at something, people know if you try. It’s clear. You can always tell if somebody is honestly trying to make things work. Conversation, work, sports, life, love. Doing your best in everything will have profound results on your success and your relationships. This is perhaps the easiest agreement to follow as you simply give every task 100% thought and effort. Always. Think about some of the agreements you’ve made with yourself (or have been made for you). How well do you follow them? Are you impeccable with your words, thoughts and actions? Do you take things personally? Do you assume the worst in others? Do you do your best? Four agreements and you too can stop being The Judge. Become The Warrior.