Not all friends are made equal

Imagine that you have a bucket of water. It represents your needs that can only be fulfilled by others. When it is full, all your needs are met. Certain relationships in your life will come along and fill your bucket up. Certain people will fill it more than others. Certain needs will be met by one person and not by another. Some people will challenge you in certain ways more than others. Some relationships will be fleeting, and some will be deep, long-lasting connections. As they fill your bucket, so you fill theirs. But not all of your relationships will fill your bucket in the way you want. And not all exchanges will be equal. 

Some friendships are forever

As time passes, relationships mature, change, and evolve. Sometimes they cease to be relationships at all. As you grow older, you may grow apart. Maybe your needs are met elsewhere, or moving makes the physical distance between you grow wider. Maybe there are expectations to manage, social norms to maintain, or larger time restraints. Maybe you’ve learnt how to squeeze more out of less people. After all, it is hard to maintain good quality, long-lasting friendships. They require the most time and reciprocal energy. There is always a new friend or a new connection that seems more exciting than the old. 

I'd drop a few friends if it meant spending more time with Mr Bean

Of course, not all friends can provide everything. You shouldn’t view your relationships as one-stop-shops. Just as you wouldn’t go to a strawberry farm expecting a fruit salad, you shouldn’t rely on select key individuals to provide all your personal needs. Find that balance between quantity, quality and time. Some friends you can catch up with once a year, as if no time had passed at all. Others will require constant validation. Identify who needs what, and allocate your time as best you can. Fully invest into those relationships that can provide you with the key ingredients you need.

Everyone loves a funny cake

Think about how you could be more reciprocal, how you could return a phone call or two. Think about making lunch plans instead of eating alone. As with anything, you only get out what you put in. Make consistent, solid effort with those that make you smile more than anyone else. Seek out those people that inspire you to be your best self. Seek out those people that you enjoy spending time with. Find those people that challenge you to reach the highest heights, and never look back. Be mindful to fill up the bucket of those key, irreplaceable individuals. And make sure you notice who is filling up yours.