Waiting for the perfect excuse

Hosting a party, gathering, or lunch with friends and family always comes with risks. There are those who drink too much, those who spill food everywhere, and those who accidentally break some of your favourite household items. There are also those who RSVP and fail to turn up. The people who flake at the last minute. Who never really wanted to come, but RSVP'd that they would until they found the appropriate excuse. There is nothing more inconsiderate than those who use a lousy excuse to hide their disinterest in your event. As a host, there is nothing more frustrating than preparing for people who never arrive.

The thing got hit with thing and the other thing just came up!

Of course, there are always legitimate reasons why someone may be unable to turn up. This is not about those people. This is about those people who find an excuse where there isn't one. Those who recite a story with plot holes larger than a children’s film. You can feel when  someone's subconscious gleefully exclaims that something came up that they just couldn't avoid.  They find comfort in their excuse. It allows them to avoid direct confrontation. It is terrible that some of our closest friends will go to terrible lengths to avoid large-scale social interaction. And although you may love them, for some reason they fail to hold up their end of the RSVP bargain. They leave you hanging, alone, or with an extra empty seat at the table.

Sometimes an extra seat is pretty good

It is much more beneficial to everyone if we are upfront with our intentions. If you do not want to go to a gathering, simply RSVP no. You are not tortured to give a reason, you can simply decline. You will save your host from disrupted plans and unnecessary increased costs. There will always be reasons not to attend. There will always be reasons not to get that new job, or take risks. There will always be the perfect excuse if you look hard enough.  

There has to be an excuse around here somewhere

The next time you find yourself waiting for a perfect excuse to avoid something, be proactive. Cancel early and cancel decisively. There will be another event, another reason to cancel. Although a last minute decision may feel like the best to you, it is inconsiderate and hurtful. Although you feel you have the perfect excuse, it’s only perfect to you.