The power of the wink

When faced with a small window of opportunity to make your mark on someone, it can be difficult to know if you’re doing the right thing. Small talk can be daunting, especially if you need to impress someone in a more formal setting. It can make even the most stoic person anxious trying to get it all ‘just right’. Unless you practice. Unless you master your body language, and understand that it’s much more important how you say something, than what you say.

I know that you know that I know that you know about the thing

There are a few communication tools that are often left in the toolkit. One of those is the wink. And I don’t mean an actual wink (although that does the job too), but a metaphorical wink. A wink is a small, thoughtful, positive piece of body language that will leave your audience feeling comfortable and communicative. It’s what politicians, dignitaries, and big business moguls have mastered. They’ve mastered consistent, steady body language with just that little bit of spark to make you feel warm and welcome. They all have that special wink that catches your subconscious eye and makes you feel special. Whether it’s a warm smile, open hands, or a special handshake, all of these big players have their own version of a wink. It instantly makes you feel like an old friend. You feel like you can confide in them and that they will be fair and honest in negotiation. These big winners often meet for extremely brief periods of time, and complete negotiations with more at stake than you and I will ever be able to comprehend.  

I don't think this is going to end well

Your own wink will let everyone know that you are fair, and straight to the point. It creates a bond between you and someone, almost like a little secret. It’s something that is beyond the physical. It’s a calming message, an idol of understanding. Of course, you don't want to dish your wink out to everyone. Keep it private, keep it special. Let it evolve from person to person, as you climb social ladders and break bread with the powerful. It’s an extremely powerful tool, one that should be used with discretion and only when needed.

If your problem is a nail, all you need is a big hammer

There's nothing more powerful than subtle body language. True authenticity comes from within, as your body subconsciously exposes your true intentions when you are deep in conversation. You can either change your true intentions, or be mindful of your body language on display. By improving our communication toolkit, we can gain deeper, and longer-lasting connections. When we communicate better, we improve our understanding of others, and ourselves. Do you already have your own version of the wink? Or is it something you need to develop?