Say goodbye

We often find ourselves distanced from friends passively. We run out of time to see all the people we want to see and drift apart as neither party reaches out to the other. A passive lack of effort from everyone. It’s rare that we actively break off friendships, even when some can be toxic cycles that feel impossible to end.

You shouldn't bring a megaphone to a gun fight

Often, it’s the most empathetic people that take on the other person's problems. They give themselves a reason to stay. To be invested. They make the toxic person’s problems their own. They make it so that breaking off the relationship would now leave them with unresolved issues. They force themselves into a position where they are unable to find the closure they need to make an active decision.

Some jars should never be opened

It can be hard to say goodbye to those who we have extensive histories with or have had major impact on our lives. We find ourselves in cycles of angst and of entrapment. Of social debt and of feeling unworthy. Of times when we want to see that person, and times when we hate them. Of course, people can change. But will things really be different? It is impossible to know for sure.

If only everyone was so considerate

You do need to sometimes weigh up the value that someone adds to your experiences. Are they beneficial? Are they a burden? Are their problems really my problems? Is it okay to be selfish and cut them off? It can be incredibly hard to think about people in such a transactional way, especially as an empathetic person. But at least making an active choice gives yourself ownership over your decisions. It allows you to be accountable and lets you have a clean break or a fresh start.