It's not your fault you don't fit in

 Whether it’s discussing in-depth opening strategy while watching a chess game or critiquing the lens choice on a contemporary film, we change our language when talking with our peers who share the same interests. It’s always special to watch two complete strangers get on like a house on fire when they come together over a shared love. And as our interest grows in something, what excites us to talk about shifts. We get excited to share the things we’ve learnt with others.

I bet he'd love to hear about my Mongolian basket weaving!

There’s always been clicks and niche’s of people interested in the things you aren’t. There always will be. And sometimes it can be very difficult to break into a circle of people who all have the same interest. Even if you wanted to join in their conversation it would be like listening to another language. They speak from experience, from a place of practice. They speak from being around the same type of people with similar backgrounds. They can talk detailed ideas and comparisons because they have the depth to do so.

I wonder what these guys would like to talk about

If you’re in a keen kayaking club, it’s probably not that exciting to hear someone talk about the acrobatics tricks they've learnt. You can tell when someone is bored to death listening to something they’re uninterested in. It actually takes more effort, and leaves us more drained than getting excited with someone about something we love. So when you introduce friends to each other, be sure to prompt their starting conversation with a shared interest. It will make them feel at ease, and will leave everyone thinking you have the best friends.